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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075159">Redamancy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastSunRise/pseuds/EastSunRise'>EastSunRise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, Possible Canon Spoilers, Reincarnation, Those early morning kisses and touches, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastSunRise/pseuds/EastSunRise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(n.) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.</p><p>In which haunting nightmares (which may not be just nightmares) are relieved by early morning touches and kisses, and a little love is passed around.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Redamancy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello and welcome! I wrote this in three days and went through three revisions where two different scenes were written and cut because my brain kept going "nah, do it againt, from the top."</p><p>For their ages in this fic, I'd say Levi: 28-30; Eren: 24-26 (just imagine them both in their mid twenties and above)</p><p>I hope you enjoy! (and if it feels choppy that probably because my writing process is just choppy in genral, so apologies for that!)<br/>Please comment your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bright light against a black sky.</p><p>Time is a shadow, creeping where the sun does not shine upon.</p><p>
  <em>Warmth. Love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“Goodnight, Eren. Sleep well, sweetheart.”)</em>
</p><p>It lurks behind you.</p><p>
  <em>White clouds in the sky. Blue eyes filled with wonder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“Someday, I hope we get to explore the outside world!”)</em>
</p><p>Watching. Always there.</p><p>
  <em>Red. There is red. There is hurt. There is pain. There is anger. And it is all red.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“I’m cold.”)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A flash of light reflecting off an object.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“-when I get home, I’ll show you what’s inside the basement…”)</em>
</p><p>Until the moment strikes.</p><p>
  <em>Destruction. The walls crumble. Running.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A scream.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“SURVIVE!”)</em>
</p><p>Time is a cruel awakening.</p><p>
  <em>A long face twisted in a gleeful sneer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“You suicidal bastard!)</em>
</p><p>Time is mysterious.</p><p>
  <em>A brown jacket with a symbol of two swords. A mocking smile, cold and empty.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“If you like it that much… I wouldn’t mind teaching it to you.”)</em>
</p><p>Time is deceiving.</p><p>
  <em>A hand reaching out. Friendly and strong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“Just keep moving forward.”)</em>
</p><p>Time is catching up.</p><p>
  <em>An oath. Fist over heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“DEDICATE YOUR HEARTS!”)</em>
</p><p>Time is awake.</p><p>
  <em>A roar. Monstrous anger. Hunger for revenge.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“Humanity’s hope, Er-)”</em>
</p><p>Time fears nothing.</p><p>
  <em>(“Do you resent me?”)</em>
</p><p>Time is cruel.</p><p>
  <em>(“Trust us!”)</em>
</p><p>It digs in with cold hands and rips out the warmth. It deceives and ruins everything it touches. It gives only pain.</p><p>
  <em>Crying, pleading. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“I’m begging you… Someone find us…”)</em>
</p><p>It snakes its cold hands around your throat.</p><p>
  <em>Crystals and chains. Blood and tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“I may be humanity’s enemy, but I’m YOUR friend-”)</em>
</p><p>And it squeezes.</p><p>
  <em>Fire, hot and burning. A look, exhausted and knowing. Soft against the rushing wind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“I’m sorry for always doing this to you-”)</em>
</p><p>Unforgiving. Uncaring. It will not pity you.</p><p>
  <em>Pain. Anguish. A man, familiar and yet not, watches upon the back of a-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“Someday… I’ll come to save you.”)</em>
</p><p>Time is a cycle.</p><p>
  <em>(“Everyone you meet will be parted from you one day.”)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A flash. Red drops. Past time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“My name is-”)</em>
</p><p>It never stops.</p><p>The pain comes, and sometimes it stays. And sometimes it goes.</p><p>But time never stops.</p><p>
  <em>A small face, round cheeks, and large eyes. They are lost, seeking hope.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“But I’m powerless. So… It’s all going to end without me doing… a thing.”)</em>
</p><p>It is not a friend. It will hurt.</p><p>
  <em>Cheering. Excitement. Fear. Sadness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“THIS IS A DECLARATION OF WAR!”)</em>
</p><p>Oh, but time is something. When faced with for so long, it becomes exhausting.</p><p>You give up on trying to change what time has set in stone.</p><p>Instead, you let it course through your veins.</p><p>You let it guide you.</p><p>And you just keep moving forward.</p><p>Because you must fight.</p><p>
  <em>(“I never thought, I’d see you like this.”)</em>
</p><p>Fight…</p><p>
  <em>(“She’s dead.”)</em>
</p><p>Fight.</p><p>
  <em>(“It’s your fault-”)</em>
</p><p>Fight!</p><p>
  <em>(“- you bastard!”)</em>
</p><p>FIGHT!</p><p>
  <em>(“Is this what you wanted!)”</em>
</p><p>Until you reach the light. That sight.</p><p>Until it is done.</p><p>
  <em>(“When I save the world, it’ll be with you.”)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A smile. Red scarf. Long hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(“See you later, -”)</em>
</p><p>When it ends, there is no light.</p><p>Only darkness.</p><p>But.</p><p>
  <em>(“You’re free.”)</em>
</p><p>Finally, time can let you rest.</p><p>
  <em>Eren.</em>
</p><p>His body jolts as if shocked by lightning. Pins and needles stab at his head and his nape. There is no light, it’s pitch black. Breathing hurts and is harder to do than usual. He can’t seem to breathe in, and when he does it never seems to be enough. His lungs cry out for more, but he can’t breathe.</p><p>Where was he? His fingers reach out and find soft fabric. Sheets. A bed. A room. A ceiling. Dark. Was he home? Where was home? Who was he with?</p><p>He breathes in once more, struggles to gulp down as much air as possible, then sputters it all out in uneven breaths. A cry tears his throat, cutting like sandpaper.</p><p>Something shifts next to him, but he can’t move. His body only shudders in place as his chest quakes. Something slithers over his side, pressing down on his naked chest. Naked. A hand. Moving. A body, right next to his. He was naked, and there was someone right next to him, probably equally as naked.</p><p>“Shh, easy.” A hot breath.</p><p>“Easy now. There we go.” The hand pressed down again. It’s gentle. It feels rough against his skin. In. Out.</p><p>“Inhale slowly. Great, now let it out.” In. Out. In. Out.</p><p>“Good boy.” Eren shudders. It’s a deep voice, a little croaky and harsh, and it does something to him. Like sugar in tea, sweetness to battle against the bitterness in his bones. A poor metaphor that makes little to no sense, but it works for this.</p><p>He huffs out more breaths, feeling the tremors slowly leave and his body calms down. Before fully crashing down. He sags against the body, exhausted. His chest still hurts, and he feels his brain pounding against his skull. His eyelids lower, lower, wanting to close and never open again. Everything feels sluggish, slow, and numb.</p><p>The hand is rubbing circles on his torso. He clumsily grabs it with his sweaty one, squeezing once.</p><p>“Nightmare?” the person asks.</p><p>Eren voice cracks. “Yeah.”</p><p>The hot breath against his ear pulls away and a nose nuzzles into his hair. Eren, broken and hurt, sighs in relief, and his eyes feel suspiciously wet. A small, hot droplet leaks out the corner and slides down his cheek. A kiss on his head.</p><p>“Levi?” He croaks, scared, staring tiredly at the dark ceiling, trying, and failing, to catch his shaking breath.</p><p>Small fingers wipe away the tear just before it reaches his jaw. “It’s me, Eren. Just me.”</p><p>Levi. <em>(“Do you resent me- “)</em></p><p>Eren’s eyes strike open – when had they even closed? – and he cries out, “Levi.”</p><p>Dark hair, fair skin, slim nose, thin eyebrows, which were furrowed, pink lips curled down, and grey eyes staring - hurt, confused, scared, loving, so, <em>so</em> loving – straight at him. He knew those eyes, and they knew him. Eren’s heart thunders against his sternum. <em>Ba-dum. Ba-dum.</em> He feels another sob choke him.</p><p>Levi cradles Eren’s head closer, nosing his sweat soaked – Eren sweats easily during nightmares and hot nights – hair. His other hand continues to rub at Eren’s waist, endless circles done with light traces. “Do you- do you want to talk about it?” <em>(“I’m sorry for always doing this to you</em>.<em>”)</em> Eren grunts in reply, hand gripping Levi’s shoulder, afraid to let go and drown again. The shadows have resided as his eyes familiarize themselves with the darkness, but they still haunt him. Taunting him from corners he cannot see.</p><p>“You want me to make tea? Or some food?”</p><p>“No, no. Just-just stay. Just stay right here. Please.”</p><p>Levi stills, before breathing in through his nose and tugging Eren impossibly closer. “Ok.” A nod against Eren’s head, “Ok. I’m staying right here. I promise.” Levi shifts backwards, pushing himself up until his back rests against the headboard, pulling Eren with him to rest on his chest. His arms cradle Eren in a strong embrace, trying to absorb him into his own skin, perhaps. Swallow him whole and bury him between his lungs, right where he belongs.</p><p>Eren sighs in blissfully as Levi kneads a hand through his hair, trying to fix the endless knots and tangles.</p><p> A few moments of just this, of silence, of just existing. Of Levi holding Eren. Of twisting his fingers through tangled hair, stroking and soothing. Of naked skin against naked skin. Of their hearts beating against their sternums, seeking one another. Of just Levi and Eren, together, in this little world they have created for themselves. This world, which was calm. Peaceful. No war. No bloodshed. No gruesome death. No torture. No pain. No giant, cannibal tit-</p><p>Eren gasps in pain when he feels something – almost like lightning – stab through his skull and clutches his head. “It hurts.”</p><p>Levi hisses in sympathy. “Shit, I’m sorry. It’s okay. I’m sorry.” His hand pauses in its tirade against Eren’s nest like hair, lowering onto his nape and squeezing in apology.</p><p>Eren shakes his head, grimacing, and presses his lips against Levi’s pectoral in a tender kiss. “Not your fault, don’t worry. Just a headache.”</p><p>“You want to take a bath? It might help relax you.” After receiving a nod in acceptance, Levi gently pushes Eren to the side, muttering with a kiss, “I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Eren lays there, alone, and nude, in their bed sheets, as Levi walks away to fill the tub. A light has finally been turned on and the room is now visible to the naked eye, and the shadows are less haunting with their taunts. Eren gazes about, from the green window drapes drawn in privacy, to the black cherry hardwood floor, to the photos pinned on the dresser mirror, curtesy of Eren.</p><p>The sound of rushing water filters into the room.</p><p>Eren closes his eyes, twists on his side, and buries his face into a pillow, wishing for some peace of mind. He is quickly overwhelmed by the scent coconut and something sweet. It smells like their shampoo, the one Eren bought just last week because “we should switch it up, Levi. No need to smell the exact same for all of our lives.”</p><p>Why was the smell of the shampoo on the pillow?</p><p>Oh, Eren remembers now. He had fallen asleep, after the two had invested in some quality “let me admire your heart, body, and soul by fucking you into the mattress” time, bone tired but oh so content. But before he had fallen into deep sleep, nothing but a hazy mind still coming down from his high, swimming in a black sea, a kiss had been pressed on his head, along with a stroke of feathery fingers across his cheek. Then the warmth against his side had up and left Eren to his soon to be nightmare.</p><p>Levi must have taken a shower before bed. Typical. The man hated the feeling of sweat drying against his body. But, still, that does not explain why the scent had not dissipated during the night?</p><p>He sighs and rubs his face into the pillow, willing the throb in his head to go away. The sound of water has abruptly stopped now, and footsteps echo out of the bathroom.</p><p>The mattress dips with Levi’s weight. “Is your head better?”</p><p>“Mm.” Eren peaks out from his fringe. Levi brushes it aside and bumps his nose against Eren’s in affection.</p><p>“Come on.” A kiss on the lips, then the cheek, forehead, the space between the brows, and finally on the nose. “Water’s warm for you.”</p><p>Eren sighs in relief when he finally sinks into the warm water, slipping between Levi’s legs, who has his back resting against the edge of the tub. He rests his head on a pale shoulder, almost purring when Levi scratches at it.</p><p>“Mm, what time is it?” He asks, thinking back to the previously dark room and the scented pillow.</p><p>“About three thirty in the morning.” Eren groans.</p><p>“We barely slept at all. Shit.” He rubs tiredly at his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Levi kisses Eren’s shoulder before settling his chin on, arms tugging him closer. “It’s alright, not your fault. Just shitty nightmares. Besides, not like I would’ve slept much.”</p><p>Eren looks at Levi, finding the permanent dark circles under his eyes looking much worse than they usually are. “Still stressed about Isabel and Farlan?” He strokes Levi’s arm in comfort.</p><p>“How can I not be? My kid sister was knocked up by my longest time friend, and now their expecting fucking twins. Like one shitty brat wasn’t going to be enough.”</p><p>“Levi, they’re married.” Levi should know, he was the one who had walked Isabel down the isle <em>and </em>had been Farlan’s best man. Eren had stepped in place of the traditional “maid of honor” and stood by Isabel’s side at the altar. It had been a short and sweet wedding, friends and family only. The chocolate and strawberry flavored wedding cake had been Eren’s – and Sasha’s – favorite part of the wedding, besides the beginning ceremony, of course.</p><p>“That doesn’t change the situation at all. Isabel’s still pregnant, and Farlan’s still going to get his ass kicked for not using proper protection.” Eren chuckles at the disgruntled look upon Levi’s face, twisting to kiss it off.</p><p>“Hm, you worry too much.” Kiss. “Farlan is smart and level-headed.” Kiss. “And like hell something like a pregnancy will bring Isabel down.” Kiss. “So, they’ll get through this just fine.” Two kisses just cause. “And we’ll be there to help them as well.” He grins in reassurance at Levi, one hand stroking his left cheek.</p><p>Levi exhales sharply through his nose and gives a brief nod. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… strange.”</p><p>Eren tilts his head in curiosity. “Strange, how?”</p><p>“Like when you’re trying to take a shit, a very <em>long </em>shit, and no matter how much you keep pushing, it just keeps coming and it seems like it’ll never stop. And the worst part is that it doesn’t even break. It sticks together from the moment it leaves your asshole until it hits the bottom of the toilet.” Levi says as if he was mentioning of the weather tomorrow.</p><p>Eren laughs in disbelief and thumps his head against Levi’s shoulder. “Can you not?”</p><p>“I thought you liked my shit jokes?”</p><p>“I do, but not when we were about to delve into your complicated feelings and insecurities about watching the sister you raised enter a new stage in her adulthood that doesn’t directly involve you at all.”</p><p>“In my defense, I was actually trying to avoid talking about that.”</p><p>“You have to talk about it eventually, though. It won’t be good to just let your thoughts sit and fester, it’ll eat you up.”</p><p>Levi sneers, thankfully it’s not too harsh, and pinches Eren’s waist, causing him to squawk. “I’ve been doing just that for over two decades now and I’m just fine.”</p><p>“You have anxiety and depression.”</p><p>“And you have nightmares about cannibalistic giants and wars.” Eren flinches at the snide remark and his hand begins to slip from Levi’s cheek. “Shit, no, I’m sorry.” Levi’s eyes widen as he realizes his mistake. He catches Eren’s slipping hand and holds it tight. “I shouldn’t have brought that up. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Eren says quietly, sending Levi a small smile. He’s not actually sure if it’s fine, but he knows Levi doesn’t mean to mock or hurt him intentionally.</p><p>“Still. I know they hurt you, seeing them every night.” Levi leans his forehead against Eren and holds him with unforgiving hands for one second. Then two. Then ten-fifteen more.</p><p>“Not every night.” Eren pecks the pink lips in front of him, soft and gentle, nothing more than a brush of lips whispering hello. “Just some.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make it any better. The shit you see- “Levi pauses, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he remembers all the times Eren had tearfully or tiredly told him about his dreams, when he remembers them at least. “It’s fucked up. And you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”</p><p>Eren huffs humorlessly. “Guess we both need some therapy, huh.”</p><p>Levi sighs and slumps against the tub. The water is starting to cool, their bodies having soaked up all the heat.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know. My appointments set for next Wednesday. And yours is Saturday. Don’t forget, twelve pm sharp.”</p><p>“I know.” Eren cuddles closer into Levi’s chest, closing his eyes and listening for the rhythmic beat of his heart. Ba-dum. Ba-dum. <em>(“Eren, you have to make a choice.”) </em>He squeezes his eyes and grits his jaw.</p><p>Silence falls on them and soon the water is lukewarm. Levi starts to suggest they head back to bed but then Eren’s stomach lets out a lousy grumble, and with an exasperated look the two set out for a night snack. They’re in the kitchen later, clothed in only boxers – because Levi is weird about sitting anywhere naked when it doesn’t involve sex – heating up some tea and pouring through their cabinets for the biscuits Hanji had left from their previous visit two days before. Eren is surprised when Levi had set the box of biscuits down, having thought he’d thrown them out because you never know what kind of shit Hanji had put in them, whether by accident or purposely. Shrugging, he takes a few in hand and begins to munch on them, eyeing Levi’s ass in his black boxers as he pours their tea.</p><p>“Thank you,” he says around a biscuit when Levi sets his tea in front of him and Levi only smiles wistfully at him.</p><p>“Are you okay, now?” Levi asks after Eren’s fifth biscuit.</p><p>“Yeah, I am. Thank you,” Eren leaning against his shoulder and grabbing the hand not holding the rim of his mug – for just a second Eren is blinded by the memory of a man holding his teacup in the exact same fashion, with three fingers holding the rim. “You’re too good for me, you know.”</p><p>Levi scoffs and rolls his eyes but doesn’t let go of his hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t take care of my partner when he’s hurt?”</p><p>Eren just smiles. “Still, thank you.”</p><p>“Uh huh, drink your tea before it gets cold. Don’t wanna waste it now, assam isn’t that cheap, you know.”</p><p>“Alright,” Eren says. He sips at his tea and hums quietly, toes knocking against Levi’s ankle, and feels himself sink into a state of serenity. Eren and Levi, together, in their kitchen, drinking tea and eating Hanji’s probably accidently poisoned biscuits at four in the morning. It was perfect and Eren has all but forgotten his nightmare and the raging headache, along with all the negative feelings, all the horror and anguish, that he had awoken to. Here, with Levi against his side, he could just breathe and exist. No worries, no dangers, no nightmares. No dreams or memories or whatever the fuck it is his brain is trying to torment him with.</p><p>It’s just them. Just Eren and Levi.</p><p>“I love you,” he says.</p><p>Levi smiles, rubs at the gold band around Eren’s ring finger, the one with the green gem that he said matched perfectly with his eyes, and it’s perfect. “I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AND THEY WERE MARRIED! God I didn;t even know I wanted some marrried Ereri till i wrote that last line, but I am a real sucker for"Eren Ackerman" so I just had to make it happen (even if there is literarly no mention of Eren's last name in this, but I just wanted my preference known ;)) </p><p>(Also, no those biscuits were not poisoned, Levi would have definitely burned the entire box if they were. Although Eren did later get a tumy ache, that was mostly cause the boy just ate too many biscuits at 4 fucking Am.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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